Christians and porn: a theology of pornographic lust

This is the third post in a series which aims to address the issues of pornography and our sexuality in a frank and open manner. You can see the other posts here, and here.

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this statement.

You can look, but you can’t touch.

How many times has someone justified their lust through this kind of thinking?

How many times have I?

I work out at a gym about three times a week (it is hard to stay in shape in my line of work). I have had many women tell me that they hate to work out with men because they feel like pieces of meat. I always thought they were too sensitive, but as I have watched other men in the gym ‘noticing’ women I have to agree with the women. So many times a fit women walks past and all the guys spend the next minute watching her walk away.

A line from the movie Faceoff always runs through my head when I see another mans head swivel to watch a woman walk away.

Eve, Eve. I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.

Driscoll, in chapter three of Porn-Again Christian, talks about an encounter he had with a young Christian at Christian college.

I remember having a converstaion with another young Christain who frequently viewed pornography and told me that it was okay because he had examined the Bible thoroughly and never saw the word “pornography.” But, he convieniently missed the mountain of verses that speak about lust.

For some reason we seem to be able to very easily sidestep the statement of Jesus in Matthew 5:27ff

You have heard it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

It is not as though lust is wrong, it is when lust is focussed on someone other than the spouce that God has given you is wrong. So when we look at the naked pictures of a woman or man who is not our spouce, we lust and commit adultery. If we read or listen to erotic stories which are designed to arouse us, we commit adultery.

Driscoll also reminds us that sexual sins (really all sinning) is not something outside of us, but comes from within us.

Jesus said, “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sexuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”

Thus, sexual sins are not “out there” in the media, strip club, or gal with low-rise jeans and hi-rise thong. Truly, the problem is “in you.” It is from the sinfulness of your heart that lust and sin proceed like sewage from a culvert. This is the painful, unvarnished truth.

This is something that is hard for us to understand. We love to work on the outside, on the actions, on the appearance that we give to others. We work hard at building beautiful and thick masks that cover who we really are.

What we need to do is take off the mask, and allow God’s light to shine into the darkest part of our hearts.

The Dirty Little Secret: a review

If you ever want to create an uncomfortable silence in a Christian crowd simply mention the word “porn”. This is an issue which saturates our culture, with more money being spent on it than almost all other forms of entertainment combined, and yet we remain mute.

Craig Gross decided one day that enough was enough and he was going to deal with the issue head on. His book Dirty Little Secret: Uncovering the Truth Behind Porn shows what he and some of his conspirators have been doing to help minister to those trapped in the world of pornography.

He opens the book telling about his car.

It was a stupid thing to do, but I did it anyway. I turned my car in the “Porn Mobile”. I painted my website domain xxxchurch.com and the slogan “#1 Christian Porn Site” all over my black Scion Xb in big, bold-faced letters. On the passenger door is the wording “A porn site for the whole family.” The car is unavoidable.

What was great about this book is that is was not another person railing against the evils of porn. It was not another listing of the incredible stats which show just how powerful porn is in our culture. It is not another Christian standing up and condemning the world and assuming that those trapped in porn are beyond saving. It is not another voice telling you that porn sucks and you’re a sinner if you consume it? There are enough of these voices around, and though we need this reminder we also need to be reminded that the grace of God can reach all people.

Gross tells about the message of his book this way.

What’s the first image that pops in your head when you hear the words church and porn together? Probably that of a stern minister wagging a condemning finger. We wanted to change that and decided the only way we could change something was if we got our there among the people and took a look at what was going on in the world of porn. No, I am not going to preach, but I’d like to introduce you to a few or the people in my world, the world of the Porn Pastor.

This is exactly what Gross does in the book. He introduces us to Tim, a young Christian youth leader who is addicted to porn and ends up sleeping with a young girl at a Christian camp. He introduces us to Harmony, someone who became wrapped up in the porn industry at a young age, promised love, acceptance, and family, only to be used as a piece of meat to be marketed. He introduces us to Jimmy D, a porn producer who is ashamed of what he does but seems to far entrenched to do anything about it.

He introduces us to Greg who is beginning to understand that his sexual thoughts interfere with his ability to function at work and at school. Greg who learned three key items toward growth and healing.

1) knowledge – learning about his sexual patterns

2) perspective – acknowledging and creation opinions on the interrelationships causing his dissatisfaction

3) motivation – the desire to change

He introduces us to Dave, who is married to Alli and is addicted to porn. He tells us how Alli gave Dave grace and lovingly confronted him about his problem and is helping him through it. He introduces us to Josh, a free-lance porn web developer, and Trinity, a porn star, who become so discusted with their lives that they break away from the porn industry, move out of Las Vegas to Indianna and make a clean start with the help of the Christian community.

This book provides a look at the underbelly of an industry that is fueled by fantasy. Gross breaks the fantasy by introducing the reality that porn kills.

Christians and porn: the fear of the Lord

This is the second in a series which aims to address the issues of pornography and our sexuality in a frank and open manner. I know that there are people who do not want me to talk about this. I know that there are people with their heads in the sand and think that this is not an issue; that there is no connection between Christians and porn; that is a problem only for those who do not call Jesus, “Lord”. I also know that there are many within the church who struggle with it. This is an issue about which we have been silent about for far too long.

In chapter 2 of Mark Driscoll’s e-book Porn-again Christian he reminds us that wisdom comes from walking with God (please note that this book is aimed mostly at men and is written in a very frank manner, read his intro before any other part of the book).

Wisdom is living you life in congruence with the will of God by walking in grace with him. Wisdom begins with fearing God (Prov. 1:7).

Fear does not mean trembling before some massive, extremely angry, supernatural giant ready to smash us to pieces. Fear means giving the proper respect and honour to someone who is entitled to it. Fearing God means recognising his glory, his weight, his authority in our lives. Wisdom comes from recognising that God has authority over our lives.

Simply, until you fear God and weigh him most heavily in your life, you will remain an undisciplined fool.

None of us truly want to be recognised as undisciplined. We know deep down that we have to be able to control our urges. I think it would be hard to find someone who actually believes that everyone ought to be able to follow their own desires whenever, and however they wish.

But here is the problem. We do not want others to have such liberty, but we want it for ourselves. We do not want others; our spouses, our children, our parents, friends, pastors, to be looking at porn, but it is all right if we do it; or at least that is what our actions seem to say.

Driscoll provides a list of verses which he intends to “simply scare you into seeing God in his holiness.” The scriptures tell us time and time again that the sexual perversion in which the pagans participate is not to be condoned by those who follow Christ. We need to see just how wrong our broken sexuality is.

Paul writes to the Corinthians, a group of people living in an extremely sex saturated culture, telling them to take sexual sins seriously within the community.

In 1 Corinthians 5:9-11, Paul says, “I wrote to you in my letter not to associate wiht sexually immoral people–not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or the idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he us guilty of sexual immorality … not even to eat with such a one.” Simply, any man who claims to be a Christian but lives in habitual, unrepentant sexual immorality is not fit for Christian friendship and community unless he repents, because he is defiling his friends and their church with his perversion.

God does not take it lightly when we use the bodies he has given us, and in which he dwells, in ways which denigrate and destroy. He does not appreciate it when we fill our heads with images and stories that destroy the relationships he has given us to enjoy.

My single point with all of these warnings from scripture is to implore you to take any sexual sin you may have as seriously as your God does.

Christians and porn: a tall glass of toilet water

This is the first in a series which aims to address the issues of pornography and our sexuality in a frank and open manner. For those of you who may be uncomfortable with discussing something like this, too bad. This is an issue about which we, as a church, have been silent about for far too long.

Our culture is designed to make us lust. Advertisements, commercials, magazines all understand that sex sells and make no apologies for pushing the envelope. Mark Driscoll opens his introduction to Pornagain Christian with these words.

You are part of a culture that spends more money each year on pornography than country music, rock music, jazz music, classical music, Broadway plays, and ballet combined.

Our main form of entertainment is sex.

Sex made into a commodity for purchase.

In chapter 1, Driscoll takes the church (and that would include everyone within the church) to task for not being more open and forthright about this issue.

Humans tend to try to quench our thirst for love and relationship in places which will never satisfy.

God tells us that his people tend to satisfy their thirst not by drinking from his streams of living water, but instead drinking from man-made toilets. (Jer 2:13)

Driscoll is taking a bit of a liberty here, the passage actually refers to cisterns, but in that place these cisterns collected water from the clay roof, or from the surrounded ground when it rained. However, the analogy is legitimate.

A cistern, by its very nature, will only hold a limited amount and the water “collected from clay roofs or from marly soil, has the colour of weak soap-suds, the taste of the earth or the stable.” The Pulpit Commentary: Jeremiah Vol. I, ed. H. D. M. Spence-Jones, 24 (Bellingham, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 2004).

Our culture has been selling, says Driscoll, “tall glasses of toilet water to thirsty men across our nation, many who claim to be sons of God.”

He quotes a couple of passages from Ezekiel where God takes his people to task for their continual abandonment of him. Calling Israel and Judah sisters, he calls them whores who flaunt their nakedness and offer themselves to anyone who happens to walk past.

God does not look kindly upon the kind of behaviour that has become commonplace within our society, and (dare I say it) within our churches.

We must refuse to speak in sanitised euphemisms like calling adulteries “affairs”, fornication “dating”, and perverts “partners” because God uses frank words for deplorable sin so we will feel its sickness without anesthesia.

If you need more proof that God cares about our sexual actions go read Proverbs 5.

“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths.” (Proverbs 5:18-21, ESV)