autumn in the rain

Image by Denis Collette…!!! via Flickr

Dismal dreary days lead to a dismal dreary heart. A life that finds hope hard, strength weak, and rest difficult.

Autumn in the rain.

The trees shed their coverings and stand naked against the steel gray sky. Rain and wind lash at the windows and threaten to make hearts as cold as the bare feet on this hardwood floor.

Disillusionment occurs when real life doesn’t live up to our expectations. — Sarah Cunningham in Dear Church: Letters from a Disillusioned Generation

Maybe this happens when people do not live up to our expectations. Disappointment just does not really fit the feeling. Sure that is there. There is a sadness and heartbreak, a feeling of being let down. More, though, is this feeling that they have let themselves down. A feeling that they are not being true to who they claim to be, to who God is calling them to be. A frustration that there is freedom available if they could only open their eyes.

Disillusionment has this sense of removing the rose coloured glasses through which we see the world. A freeing from false belief or appearance. To be disillusioned is to be able to see through the masks that others wear. A freedom to see things as they really are.

Recently, I was sitting in church and it hit me.

Is this really it? Are we being the church God had in mind? Is this what God had in mind when he stood with his disciples in the final moments of his life on earth and told them to go into all parts of the world and declare his authority over all creation? Is this what he envisioned when declaring that the gates of Hell will not prevail against the church of Jesus Christ?

I think not. I think that we have allowed consumerism, pragmatism, and individualism to deeply implicate our vision of Church; we can no longer see clearly what God intended for us to experience as the people of God. — JR Kerr on the Q blog

Is it possible that our focus on the existing entity to which we belong, the physical congregation which gathers at a given place a given number of times every week, is hindering our vision of what we could be in Christ? Is it possible that God is calling us to sacrifice our own comfort in order to follow where he is leading? Is it possible that he is calling us to pick up a cross (an instrument of torture and death) to follow him?

Autumn in the rain.

There is hope even in this, because it is only through our own death that we receive his life.

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crazy love: a review

Christians spend so much of their time trying to live the right way. We try not to swear or use foul language. We try not to tell dirty jokes. We try to make our kids sit straight and be quiet in the worship space.

Do you ever wonder if we are trying to do the wrong things?

Sometimes I wonder if we major in the minors and completely ignore the big things God is calling us to. I wonder if we gloss over Jesus’s radical calls to obedience in the scriptures on purpose, or if we simply miss it.

Francis Chan, in his book Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God says that yes, indeed, we have missed it. At least the vast majority of us have.

You may wonder if this is simply another angry book blasting the North-American church for not following Jesus. To be honest, I wondered that myself. As I began to read the book, I actually felt that it moved rather slowly. Chan takes his time outlining what it means to follow God, and makes sure that we understand just who this God is.

He incorporates his website in his text, urging the reader to go and watch some videos that are hosted there. I found this somewhat distracting. When I sit down to read a book, I want to read the book. I do not want to have to take the time to go to my computer and watch a visitor.

These drawbacks were more than made up for, however, as the book progressed. Chan Biblically draws an outline of what it means to be a follower of Jesus, not in specifics but in attitude.

His explication of what it means to be obsessed with Jesus really hit home for me. Here is a quick summary of his description of a person deeply in love (obsessed) with Jesus.

People who are obsessed with Jesus: give freely and openly, without censure, aren’t consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else, live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another, are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status-quo, know that the sin of pride is always a battle, do not consider service a burden, are known as givers, not takers, think about heaven frequently, are characterised by a committed, settled passionate love for God, are raw with God, have an intimate relationship with Him, are more concerned with their character than comfort, know that the best thing they can do is be faithful to his saviour in every aspect of his life.

While there are other books that relate the same subject, they rely more on experience than scripture. Chan makes a concerted effort to remind us that it is only in Jesus that we are saved, and that for the glory of God. This salvation calls us to lead a radically different life than those around us. This is one of the best books I have found that outlines the Biblical basis and demand for radical discipleship in an accessible and engaging way.

learning to lament

As a child I always wanted to walk with a cane. I thought it would be very cool to be reliant upon something like that.

I also thought that I would get a lot of attention from the ladies.

I sprained my ankle once, out of my own stupidity. It wasn’t really that bad, but I insisted on using crutches so that I would not hurt myself more. Really I was just looking for sympathy. It worked too. Some of the girls at school who wouldn’t look at me before suddenly spent time looking after me. The shine wore off after a while, however, and every things went back to normal.

I guess I just wanted attention, and thought that suffering would bring it.

Our culture hates to suffer. We do everything we can to make sure that everything is comfortable. To make sure that there are no aches and pains. We do everything to avoid one of the most transforming experiences there is in this world.

Last night we began a Bible study on the Psalms of Lament where we began to think about what it means to use our suffering as something that can transform the relationship we have with God. The Psalms, especially those of lament, encourage us to be honest with God, to be free with our language.

The notion of ‘liberation of language’ cuts two ways. On the one hand, we may be more free with our language, to let our language be liberated, not by being permissive or vulgar, but by letting it move beyond descriptive functions to evocative, creative functions in our life. That language should be free means that we will turn it loose to form new possibilities for us–allowing us to engage in free speech that is hope-filled.

On the other hand, the notion of the liberation of language is not only about free speech, but about speech freeing us. Thus we may become aware that when speech is broken free from a need for exactitude and permitted to reshape our existence and experience, we will experience new freedom that is not just freedom of speech, but freedom for faith. Language matters enormously. If our speech and the speech of the Bible must be too closely managed, it likely means restriction both of God and us. On the other hand, free speech for God may release the energy which leads to “all things new.”

The Psalmic metaphors we consider offer to us not descriptions but news, not situations but movements of God that will change things. Praying the Psalms means openness to God’s pilgrimage toward us.

Allowing our language to reflect our experience of life and God frees us from the shackles that we place on our relationship. It releases us from having to speak to God in a certain form and gives us the freedom to approach him as our perfect Father.

We started by having a look at the structure of a Psalm of Lament as suggested by Claus Westermann.

I.Address

A.The lament psalm normally begins with an invocation of the divine name, beginning a conversation.

B.This beginning address may be accompanied by other forms of speech: an introductory cry for help (Ps 12), petition for an audience (Ps 5), a lament (Ps 13)

II.Lament: A lament normally has three subjects: You, o God…; I…; the enemies…(Ps 13:1-3)

III.Confession of Trust: The lament often gives way to some sort of confession of trust, often introduced with a “But”.

IV.Petition

A.The principle petition/plea consists of three parts

i.petition for God to be favourable (look … incline yourself…hear)

ii.petition for God to intervene (help…save)

iii.petition for God to destroy the enemy

B.These petitions are normally accompanied by phrases designed to move God to intervene. There is often some sort of motivation given that urges God to do the requested action.

V.Assurance of Being Heard

VI.Double Wish: Occasionally a lament with ask God to intervene against …. and for …

VII.Vow of Praise

VIII.Anticipatory Praise

These are, of course, general categories which may or may not be present in every Psalm. In fact, sometimes it is telling when certain parts are missing.

Take, for example, Psalm 88. This is the only Psalm of Lament that does not end in praise (as far as I am aware). We began looking at it because it is one that simply describes the situation of the lamenter. There is no movement in it. It simply expresses to God a sense of being wronged and abandoned.

Psalm 88 (The Message)

God, you’re my last chance of the day.

I spend the night on my knees before you.

Put me on your salvation agenda; take notes on the trouble I’m in.

I’ve had my fill of trouble; I’m camped on the edge of hell.

I’m written off as a lost cause, one more statistic, a hopeless case.

Abandoned as already dead, one more body in a stack of corpses, And not so much as a gravestone— I’m a black hole in oblivion.

You’ve dropped me into a bottomless pit, sunk me in a pitch-black abyss.

I’m battered senseless by your rage, relentlessly pounded by your waves of anger.

You turned my friends against me, made me horrible to them.

I’m caught in a maze and can’t find my way out,

blinded by tears of pain and frustration.

I call to you, God; all day I call. I wring my hands, I plead for help.

Are the dead a live audience for your miracles?

Do ghosts ever join the choirs that praise you?

Does your love make any difference in a graveyard?

Is your faithful presence noticed in the corridors of hell?

Are your marvelous wonders ever seen in the dark,

your righteous ways noticed in the Land of No Memory?

I’m standing my ground, God, shouting for help,

at my prayers every morning,

on my knees each daybreak.

Why, God, do you turn a deaf ear?

Why do you make yourself scarce?

For as long as I remember I’ve been hurting;

I’ve taken the worst you can hand out, and I’ve had it.

Your wildfire anger has blazed through my life;

I’m bleeding, black and blue.

You’ve attacked me fiercely from every side,

raining down blows till I’m nearly dead.

You made lover and neighbour alike dump me;

the only friend I have left is Darkness.

Notice how this psalm never moves past lament. There is no confession of trust, no petition, and no praise. There are times in many of our lives when we feel this way, when we feel lost, when we feel abandoned. We assume we cannot talk like this to God, so we simply walk away.

Never expressing the hurt.

Allowing the wall to grow thicker and thicker.

I pray that we would be able to grasp the freedom we have to approach God with our experience. To tell him how we feel, and how much it hurts.

To express our pain so that it can be transformed into something else.

To expose ourselves so that we can be transformed.

desperate for authentic connection

In a world where I am surrounded by strangers I long for meaningful connections. I long to be more than my job to those I meet.

I long to be myself but am always afraid that I will not be accepted.

entering the story

I have been taking a class for some continuing education over the past week and a bit called “Imagination in Teaching and Preaching.” We have been looking at some very interesting ideas, and really trying to determine what the role of the imagination of the people listening to us is.

“A belief, if it is to touch the heart, must be made credible to the imagination.” — Bob DeVries

This is the claim that we have been exploring, and trying to think about as we plan sermons or teaching outlines. Before I made my way out here, there were a number of people who were struck by the topic and immediately that it would mean more sensual (as in using all the senses) description of certain events or Biblical stories.

This is, however, not really what we are talking about. We are trying to figure out ways to engage the imagination of those we are trying to reach, rather than simply feed them things to keep them entertained.

Thomas, over at Everyday Liturgy, wrote an intriguing post today about this topic, chastising parisioners for being too passive in worship, and for pastors for spoon feeding them too much.

Our worship should be about story.  We sing new songs as a way to add to the story of God’s people, praising him for things that have happened both long ago and recently.  We read Scripture to invoke God’s story into our present lives.  We preach to imagine the impact of God’s story today.  And we come to the Lord’s table to re-enact the wondrous death and resurrection of Christ.

Most often pastors do this.  I think they do too much of it.  We expect them to paint the picture while preaching, to set up the story, color all the characters, interpret the whole story for us, all so that the crowd can be limp, unthinking, and unchallenged.   We expect worship leaders to interpret songs for us.  We expect the Lord’s supper to be iradicated of mystery so that it just becomes an ordinance.  We don’t want three dimensions because that is too hard.  We just want the two dimensions, plain and simple, and for leaders and pastors to add the extra dimension and imagination.

So how do we overcome this impass? How do we get everyone more involved in the worship experience so that we are not just hearing the story but entering it?

[W]e first need to disciple our communities so that they begin to enter into the story themselves.  Second, we need to begin to dream of ways to allow congregations to be active in the dynamics of worship, in the entering into God’s story.  The worship of God is not an idle activity.  We need to be aware of the three dimensions all around us, the reality all around us, and then enter into the wonderful story of God and his creation.

How can we do this?