“God does not tell us to clean ourselves up before he listens to our prayers.” – Kurt Hannah

There are times when we feel as though we are unworthy to come before God. Times when we feel burdened with guilt and worry, when there are things which are causing us to become worried that approaching God would be the worst thing for us.

Some of us think that we need to clean up our lives before we can approach God. We think that we have to stop drinking. We have to stop lying, cheating, stealing. We have to stop looking at pornography. We have to stop lusting.

We think we need to be perfect before we can come back to God.

The problem is, the only way we get perfect is by coming back to God. The only way we get rid of the chains that drag us down is by asking God to free us. The only way we come out from under the burden we carry is by having God remove it from us.

The only way we can be free, is by admitting that we need help.

We have this incredible promise that God has sent his Son into the darkness of this world as incredible light. When we are surrounded by the death and decay brought about by the brokeness which humanity has caused in this world, God brought life and newness.

Fall has always been a weird season for me. Weird because I love the crispness, the sharpness, the brightness that comes on a clear fall or winter day, but on the other hand I am keenly aware that the cold is killing things all around me. The trees become stripped bare.

The light that comes in Fall, however, is precious to me. Precious because I know it is fleeting. Precious because it is surrounded by darkness.

We do not need to clean ourselves us before we come to God. We need to go to God to get ourselves cleaned up.

“[G]ifts have no significance in and of themselves. Gifts only have meaning in that they trace the outline of God’s heart.” (Ann Voskamp from A Holy Experience)

Since joining the Gratitude Community, I have been trying to savour the gifts that God has been giving me. Truth be told, it has been somewhat difficult to focus on the gifts. There are so many things that take up mental space and energy, it is difficult to create room for thanks.

It is difficult to make room for God.

Sometimes I feel as though I am a husband, run off his feet with work stopping only long enough in the kitchen to stuff a sandwich in my mouth as I head out the door to do something else, neglecting my spouse in the process.

I feel as though I am neglecting God in my daily work.

This may sound strange for someone who is a pastor. It may be easy to say that all my work is directed toward God. It would be easy to argue that everything I do is an act of devotion and love toward God, but that would simply not be true. There are too many days that go by when I give God the cursory peck on the cheek and completely ignore him for the rest. There are too many days when I miss his tender touch as I run about doing my own thing. Too many days I do not see his gifts.

This is why Mondays are a real gift for me now. Mondays I sit down and think about what God has given me, how he has blessed me, where he has touched me. Days when I can really experience his gifts.

21) the crunch of gravel on a well worn path

22) a bench during a long walk

23) reminders of our brokeness

24) the majesty of the Rocky Mountains

25) the calm of water

26) this ache in my soul

27) the convicting closeness of God

28) heated seats

29) a partner who will listen, even when my thoughts are incoherent

30) the grace of change

Dismal dreary days lead to a dismal dreary heart. A life that finds hope hard, strength weak, and rest difficult.

Autumn in the rain.

The trees shed their coverings and stand naked against the steel gray sky. Rain and wind lash at the windows and threaten to make hearts as cold as the bare feet on this hardwood floor.

Disillusionment occurs when real life doesn’t live up to our expectations. — Sarah Cunningham in Dear Church: Letters from a Disillusioned Generation

Maybe this happens when people do not live up to our expectations. Disappointment just does not really fit the feeling. Sure that is there. There is a sadness and heartbreak, a feeling of being let down. More, though, is this feeling that they have let themselves down. A feeling that they are not being true to who they claim to be, to who God is calling them to be. A frustration that there is freedom available if they could only open their eyes.

Disillusionment has this sense of removing the rose coloured glasses through which we see the world. A freeing from false belief or appearance. To be disillusioned is to be able to see through the masks that others wear. A freedom to see things as they really are.

Recently, I was sitting in church and it hit me.

Is this really it? Are we being the church God had in mind? Is this what God had in mind when he stood with his disciples in the final moments of his life on earth and told them to go into all parts of the world and declare his authority over all creation? Is this what he envisioned when declaring that the gates of Hell will not prevail against the church of Jesus Christ?

I think not. I think that we have allowed consumerism, pragmatism, and individualism to deeply implicate our vision of Church; we can no longer see clearly what God intended for us to experience as the people of God. — JR Kerr on the Q blog

Is it possible that our focus on the existing entity to which we belong, the physical congregation which gathers at a given place a given number of times every week, is hindering our vision of what we could be in Christ? Is it possible that God is calling us to sacrifice our own comfort in order to follow where he is leading? Is it possible that he is calling us to pick up a cross (an instrument of torture and death) to follow him?

Autumn in the rain.

There is hope even in this, because it is only through our own death that we receive his life.

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Our society is obsessed with success, and this success is defined in a very specific way. Our society calls us to live a life that seeks more comforts than our parents had, each generation is supposed to have a bigger house, more cottages, more travel, more money, newer cars, better things.

The goal of so many people in this world is to move up in the social class structure.

Just look at the difference in these wine commercials.

Both of these use the same sort of technique to get us to purchase wines, they suggest that their wines will increase the joy of the family get together. The second one, however, shows a much higher level of living. The houses are bigger. The celebration is bigger. Even the gatherings are bigger.

The Christian, however, is called to a much different lifestyle. We are called to sell our stuff and give to the poor. We are called to share what we have with those in need. We are called to downward, instead of upward, mobility.

This is so hard to do. Our culture encourages mass consumption. Mass accumulation. If we run out of room in our normal storage spaces, we can rent storage lockers or rooms down at the local storage space, even though we have WAY more storage space in our houses than our parents and grandparents did.

I have to admit that I have bought into this in many ways. I am constantly thinking about ‘upgrading’ whatever I have. My computer is old and slow, should get an upgrade. My car is getting a bit older, should think about upgrading it. The list goes on and on.

But what if we took Jesus seriously when he called us to a life of simplicity? What if we could sell some of our stuff, or at least refuse to add to the stuff we have without getting rid of some of what we do have? What if we were able to live simply so that others can simply live?

Can we live a story which runs counter to the consumption story that we have been living for so long?

I wonder.

Christians spend so much of their time trying to live the right way. We try not to swear or use foul language. We try not to tell dirty jokes. We try to make our kids sit straight and be quiet in the worship space.

Do you ever wonder if we are trying to do the wrong things?

Sometimes I wonder if we major in the minors and completely ignore the big things God is calling us to. I wonder if we gloss over Jesus’s radical calls to obedience in the scriptures on purpose, or if we simply miss it.

Francis Chan, in his book Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God says that yes, indeed, we have missed it. At least the vast majority of us have.

You may wonder if this is simply another angry book blasting the North-American church for not following Jesus. To be honest, I wondered that myself. As I began to read the book, I actually felt that it moved rather slowly. Chan takes his time outlining what it means to follow God, and makes sure that we understand just who this God is.

He incorporates his website in his text, urging the reader to go and watch some videos that are hosted there. I found this somewhat distracting. When I sit down to read a book, I want to read the book. I do not want to have to take the time to go to my computer and watch a visitor.

These drawbacks were more than made up for, however, as the book progressed. Chan Biblically draws an outline of what it means to be a follower of Jesus, not in specifics but in attitude.

His explication of what it means to be obsessed with Jesus really hit home for me. Here is a quick summary of his description of a person deeply in love (obsessed) with Jesus.

People who are obsessed with Jesus: give freely and openly, without censure, aren’t consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else, live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another, are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status-quo, know that the sin of pride is always a battle, do not consider service a burden, are known as givers, not takers, think about heaven frequently, are characterised by a committed, settled passionate love for God, are raw with God, have an intimate relationship with Him, are more concerned with their character than comfort, know that the best thing they can do is be faithful to his saviour in every aspect of his life.

While there are other books that relate the same subject, they rely more on experience than scripture. Chan makes a concerted effort to remind us that it is only in Jesus that we are saved, and that for the glory of God. This salvation calls us to lead a radically different life than those around us. This is one of the best books I have found that outlines the Biblical basis and demand for radical discipleship in an accessible and engaging way.

There are days that I do not really feel like doing anything. Days I would rather lie back in a nice chair on the deck. The sun washing over me. Sitting beneath trees that seem to get redder everyday.

Days when I want to wrap myself in a blanket and watch the steam rise from a hot cup of coffee.

Days when I am thankful to simply be.

“Be still, and know

that I am God.”

Still. Reflective. Silent. Present. Simply alive. Aware that in this moment God is drawing me deeper into a sense of him; his glory, his beauty, himself.

Every day.

Every moment.

Every hour feeling that I am not alone.

Others join me on this journey; this pilgrimage through our fractured creation. Walking with me, behind me, in front of me. Others have been here and have found a way. I see their milestones all around me. Creed and confessions in other languages.

Dated speech that still speaks.

There are connections within this body of believers that deny space and time. Connections through which I draw the strength to wait.

Today I continue my journey to a 1000 gifts.

A journey which I am beginning to savour. The temptation is to run ahead. To quickly write down all the things that I can and should be thankful for.  But I want to savour the journey, to savour the hand that hands on these blessings. To feel the brush of the saviour as I relish the gift and the giver. A journey I am taking with the Gratitude Community.

11) this moment

12) others have sorrow

13) strength for the moment

14) ancient words of gathered truth

15) collected saints in worship

16) crucible of family and community

17) prayer

18) an abundance of clocks to adjust

19) art

20) beauty

“[G]ifts have no significance in and of themselves. Gifts only have meaning in that they trace the outline of God’s heart.” (Ann Voskamp from A Holy Experience)

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What is the future of the church going to look like? The culture is shifting, and there are new influences impacting the church. The movements provide reason for optimism, but also for caution. We have to remember that there are redeemable things about every culture, which help in the work of the kingdom, but there are also things about every culture which are contrary to the gospel. What is the culture of the next generation going to look like, and to what should we be hopeful and cautious?

Brian McLaren has a very optimistic answer to these questions in the book The Church on the Other Side. He views movements within the culture as perfect jumping off points to help revamp the church and make it better. He sees post-modernism as a chance for purifying the stagnant modern culture. He points out some obstacles which may hamper churches from attaining this goal. He claims that the churches which will be successful will understand the culture, be involved in it, and accept it for what it is. He does not take a cautious enough view of what the culture is, or what the church can do with it.

Post-modernism is a response to the failure of the modern or enlightenment agenda. Modernism held that humans could solve all the world’s problems through the progress of science, technology, and philosophy. The two world wars, the failure of logical positivism, and the failure of science to solve problems of disease and pestilence has led to a sense that humans cannot solve all the problems. This has led to a sense of resignation about where we are, and where we can go. Culture as a whole no longer holds a very optimistic view of humanity’s role in the future.

The modern period threw out any attempts to discuss things outside natural observation. This naturalism has seeped over to post-modernism, but in a different form. Modernism claimed that there was no sense discussing anything outside of natural observation because there was no way to prove its truth claims. Post-modernism has begun to seek for answers to questions outside this realm because people realise the need to answer spiritual questions. Since it retains the restriction to proof by natural observation, it has resulted in a form of agnostic relativism in spiritual questions. This places a high emphasis on subjective experience because it is the only natural ground for answers to these questions.

McLaren claims that post-modernism holds the following 5 core values:

1. Post-modernism is sceptical of certainty.
2. Post-modernism is sensitive to context.
3. Post-modernism leans toward the humorous.
4. Post-modernism highly values subjective experience.
5. For post-moderns, togetherness is a rare, precious, and elusive experience.

I think McLaren’s emphasis on the scepticism of post-modernism is exaggerated. Post-moderns are sceptical of other people’s belief systems, but are relatively sure of their own. There is much more individual searching and analysis of people’s individual belief systems, but they are prepared to defend them as relevant. This defensiveness has led to the “what’s good for me, is good for me, just leave me alone” rebuttal. This agnostic relativism is the main threat to Christianity today.

Post-moderns have resigned themselves to the idea that there is no way to know the truth, but they are still looking for it. People are looking for meaning, for reasons to the existence of things, for direction for their lives, and for a place to belong. They are very sceptical of anyone telling them what to believe. This means that we cannot tell people what to believe any more, we have to show them how to believe. People are open to matters of spirituality and faith, but they do not think that we are able to know which way is the correct way. This openness is very encouraging, as it allows us to present the truth. The problem comes in when we push too hard.

This is part of the wisdom of McLaren’s book. Part of his strategy in to encourage people to ask tough questions and to seek out the answers. Christianity need not be afraid of intellectual interrogation. It can stand on its own two feet. It has a rich history of brilliant people who wrestled with intriguing questions regarding the mystery of the faith, the way it interacts with the rest of the world, and how the faith works as a coherent belief system.

McLaren has a very high commitment to a congregationalist structure of church government. His discussion of the structure of the church completely ignores the possibility of a different structure. The relativism within the post-modern culture would seem to push away from any kind of confessional structure toward an individualistic faith. Since it is harder now to tell people what they ought to believe, they have to work it out for themselves. This makes it harder for people to swallow a confessional tradition, like the CRC, than a loosely defined Christianity in a congregationalist church. The fact that people are more willing to delve deeply into spiritual questions will lead to more people seeking out the confessional tradition than the shallower, more personal styles of Christianity. The confessional tradition will provide a large asset in the future, provided we allow people to explore it and the reasons behind it.

In sum, the post-modern culture is characterised by the search for meaning in an overarching structure of agnosticism. This presents an opportunity for sharing our faith in a more open and honest dialogue. It also presents the challenge to alter the way that we do our evangelism and apologetics. We have to be less challenging, and more empathetic. We have to become more Christ-like as we care for the lost. The church cannot afford to accept the culture wholesale nor can it reject it outright. It has to work within the cultural context it is placed to witness to the eternal truths of Jesus Christ.

Over all I think McLaren falls into the extreme of wholesale acceptance of our current cultural context and does not provide enough critique of it.

I do not think there is a better resource for those experiencing pain and grief than the psalms; especially the psalms of lament. The psalms are a combined group of prayers or songs which became used within the worship of the Old Testament Israelites. They express the full range of human emotions giving voice to the things that so many of us love to hide but need to expose.

It can be argued that the single biggest group of psalms is the lament of the individual. These psalms express a deep wound of pain and an experience of abandonment by God. There is a wide expression of grief due to the wide variety of human experience leading to the pain, but the psalms are made up of a rather consistent set of parts. This combination of consistency with variety provides a great framework within which we can express to God the deepest of our emotions.

It is this expression of emotion which can move us through our pain to a place of healing.

“The function of a Lament or Psalm of Petitionary Praise (Westermann), is to provide a structure for crisis, hurt, grief, or despair; to move a worshipper from hurt to joy, from darkness to light, from desperation to hope. This movement from hurt to joy is not a psychological or liturgical experience only, although it includes those. And it is not a physical deliverance from the crisis, although that is often anticipated. The movement “out of the depths” from hurt to joy is a profoundly spiritual one.” (from “Patterns for Life: Structure, Genre, and Theology in Psalms” by Dennis Bratcher http://www.cresourcei.org/psalmgenre.html#Lament)

This movement from hurt to joy is something which happens in the context of a covenant relationship with God. Karl Bosma, from Calvin Theological Seminary, has outlined a similarity between the grief process outlined by Kubler-Ross, and the movement within the psalms. The difference, however, is that within the psalms grief is placed within a context of a covenantal relationship.

You may have heard of the stages of grief.

1) denial/isolation

2) anger

3) bargaining

4) depression

5) acceptance

While psychologists have outlined these various stages in the processing of grief, there is an implicit understanding that these stages are worked through alone, as an individual, and ultimately resulting in resignation to the events of life.

The psalmist, however, and the Judeo-Christian tradition allows for a much different perspective on the movement of grief. There is no movement from denial to acceptance, but rather a movement from painful address to God toward praise. Bosma lists the similarities to the 5 stages of grief within the psalms this way.

1) address to covenant partner

2) protest against situation/partner

3) providing a motivation for change

4) personal despondency and expectant petition

5) (anticipatory) praise

For a Christian our struggle with grief is also a struggle with faith. Ultimate resignation to the ‘facts of life’ or to ‘fate’ or even ‘providence’ does not move us past the hurt to a place of trust and praise. It leaves us in a space that is far from God and builds a barrier within the relationship. If we are able, however, to truly wrestle with God and his promises to us, we will come to a point where the relationship becomes of central importance to our lives and we are able to trust that God is with us through it all.

Psalm 22 (the message)

God, God … my God! Why did you dump me miles from nowhere? Doubled up with pain, I call to God all the day long.

No answer.

Nothing.

I keep at it all night, tossing and turning. And you! Are you indifferent, above it all, leaning back on the cushions of Israel’s praise?

We know you were there for our parents: they cried for your help and you gave it; they trusted and lived a good life.

And here I am, a nothing—an earthworm, something to step on, to squash. Everyone pokes fun at me; they make faces at me, they shake their heads: “Let’s see how God handles this one; since God likes him so much, let him help him!”

And to think you were midwife at my birth, setting me at my mother’s breasts! When I left the womb you cradled me; since the moment of birth you’ve been my God.

Then you moved far away and trouble moved in next-door.

I need a neighbor.

Herds of bulls come at me, the raging bulls stampede, Horns lowered, nostrils flaring, like a herd of buffalo on the move. I’m a bucket kicked over and spilled, every joint in my body has been pulled apart. My heart is a blob of melted wax in my gut. I’m dry as a bone, my tongue black and swollen. They have laid me out for burial in the dirt. Now packs of wild dogs come at me; thugs gang up on me. They pin me down hand and foot, and lock me in a cage—a bag of bones in a cage, stared at by every passerby. They take my wallet and the shirt off my back, and then throw dice for my clothes.

You, God—don’t put off my rescue! Hurry and help me! Don’t let them cut my throat; don’t let those mongrels devour me. If you don’t show up soon, I’m done for—gored by the bulls, meat for the lions.

Here’s the story I’ll tell my friends when they come to worship, and punctuate it with Hallelujahs: Shout Hallelujah, you God-worshippers; give glory, you sons of Jacob; adore him, you daughters of Israel. He has never let you down, never looked the other way when you were being kicked around. He has never wandered off to do his own thing; he has been right there, listening.

Here in this great gathering for worship I have discovered this praise-life. And I’ll do what I promised right here in front of the God-worshipers.

Down-and-outers sit at God’s table and eat their fill.

Everyone on the hunt for God is here, praising him. “Live it up, from head to toe. Don’t ever quit!” From the four corners of the earth people are coming to their senses, are running back to God. Long-lost families are falling on their faces before him. God has taken charge; from now on he has the last word.

All the power-mongers are before him —worshipping!

All the poor and powerless, too —worshipping!

Along with those who never got it together —worshipping!

Our children and their children will get in on this as the word is passed along from parent to child. Babies not yet conceived will hear the good news— that God does what he says.

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There are times in all of our lives when we need to say, “thanks” even if we do not feel like it. There are times when there is so much going on, all we can think about is the negative, the oppressive, the painful.

But there is something about giving thanks which causes us to change our perspectives on the world. There is something about living a life of gratitude for the little things that allows us to bear more easily the painful.

“[G]ifts have no significance in and of themselves. Gifts only have meaning in that they trace the outline of God’s heart.” (Ann Voskamp from A Holy Experience)

Sometimes we simply need to slow down and give thanks.

This is one of the reasons I have joined the Gratitude Community. To take time out and be changed by an altered perspective on the world. To continue my list of a thousand gifts.

the adventures of an upturned laundry basket.

9) the red beside my deck

10) the wonder of fall in the eyes of a child

These are the things for which I give thanks this morning.

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“It is customary to blame secular scienca and anti-religious philosophy for the eclipse of religion in modern society.” Abraham Joshual Heschel

Christians often moan about the fall of “Christian culture” within which we live. We look around us and wonder why it is that things have gone this way. It seems as though we are in the Autumnal stages of a culture that so many people dearly loved.

However when I see this movement I say, “Good ridance.” The so-called Christianity which seeped its way into the popular culture became so warped and twisted, so allied with earthly powers and kingdoms that it became virtually unrecognisable from the good news for the oppressed which it is. It slowly became good news for the rich and powerful. It became a tool to oppress rather than one to liberate.

In many places it still is.

“It would be more honest to blame religion for its own defeats. Religions declined not because it was refuted, but because it became irrelevant, dull, oppressive, insipid. When faith is completely replaced by creed, worship by discipline, love by habit; when the crisis of today is ignored because of the splendor of the past; when faith becomes an heirloom rather than a living fountain; when religion speaks only in the name of authority rahter than with the voice of compassion–its message becomes meaningless.” Abraham Joshual Heschel

We have to admit that perhaps the reason many people around us no longer claim to follow Jesus is because we have not given them sufficient reason to want to. Often our lives seem to be more drugery than joy.

What happens, however, when these problems are reversed? What happens when habit turns into love, when discipline changes to worship, creeds are imbibed with deep faith?

What happens when the faith we receive as an heirloom suddenly begins to flow living water?

God is opening our heart to the lost, the hurting, the oppressed. God is renewing our first love for him, and changing our hearts of stone to hearts of flesh.

God is moving in this world.

May we open our eyes to see.

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